Last Night
Last night, while deep in my sleep, you came to me. You haven't ever done this before. It was a really strange dream that had to do with cologne packets from Avon, some type of strange pier and your brother, whom you adored but we saw more behind bars than not. In my dream I could feel you close, I could hear your voice talking to me, I could even smell those cologne packets but I didn't see your face. When the alarm woke me up, I was trying so hard to fall back asleep at that very moment, to hurry up and go back to my dream. I miss you so much.
This Morning
This morning, I woke the girls up for school and laid back down wishing to fall asleep for the 30 minutes before I had to be up and getting ready for school but no luck. When I started walking to school this morning I noticed all these flowers that were blooming. It reminded me of you. When I crossed the creek I just happened to look down and sitting there all alone on a rock was a little red bird. As I passed the funeral home, lying there on the cement was a single carnation, pink, bright pink. I knew these were all your way of letting me know it was all going to be alright. You have a way of doing that when I need it the most.
My Thoughts
I wanted nothing more than to see your face in my dream. I don't know why I couldn't see your face. Maybe it's your way of letting me know you are close but still gone? To be honest, that's the only conclusion I can draw from that. The red bird was you showing me you were watching over me and the pink carnation at the funeral home letting me know that you were still here even when you are gone. Losing you has been the hardest thing that has ever happened to me. I miss you every day and I love you. Until we see each other again.
Joni
